What the heck am I doing here?

I ask myself this several times each week. I never ask it when I am, for example, sitting outside a café in the sun drinking coffee with friends (the weather is still nice enough, even now in December, that we can still do this on warm days). I ask it when I am trying to solve a problem, such as a broken tooth. I ask it when I am trying to figure out how to get my textbooks here in time for next semester. I ask it when I realize that there is only one online Master's program in speech-language pathology that will even consider admitting me while I live in Africa. I ask it when I have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to send a few small packages to family and friends back in the United States. I ask it when I realize that the novelty of my living in Africa has worn off for both me and all of those people back home, and when I go days without hearing from any of those people. I ask it when I discover that the downstairs bathroom in my new apartment, which is supposed to be much nicer than the apartment I moved out of, smells strongly like sewage and I am told, "the faculty member who lived there before you never complained about any smell."

I need a vacation from my life. But even planning a vacation sounds like too much to me right now.