I have been thinking a lot lately about risks. This is related to the very uncertain situation in which I find myself. In a nutshell, it is this: I am in the United States without a plane ticket to Morocco, and my husband is in Morocco without a plane ticket to the United States. He could buy a one-way ticket and bring all of our stuff with him to the U.S., but if he doesn't get a job offer, he'll have to buy two more one-way tickets, and we'll have to move all of our stuff back to Morocco. He could buy a two-way ticket and come here without our stuff, but then if he gets a job offer, he'll have to go back to Morocco, get our stuff, and then come back here and then move to our new (but still hypothetical) home.
Anything we do at this point involves risk, and we are not big risk-takers. The last big risk we took (and I'm still amazed we were ever able to make the decision to do this) was over two years ago when I quit my job without either of us having a job lined up. Soon after, T was offered the position in Morocco, and things turned out okay. But we were different then, and the economy was different then. I want to think that he could buy a one-way ticket and pack up our belongings and come here--now. That's what I want because I miss him terribly and because I'm ready to move on from Morocco. The universe doesn't owe us anything, though, and there's no reason to assume that one or both of us could find gainful employment here. If we stay in Morocco, we have an income, but I will stop making progress toward my new career. If we come here, we might not have an income, and T would stop making progress in his career.
It makes me think a lot about this poem. Choosing a path is always a risk, but we must choose nevertheless.
No comments:
Post a Comment