The gap between "says" and "is"

In this blog post (and, I suspect, in future blog posts) I will be making observations about Moroccan culture. I make these observations from my own limited point of view, and from my own limited experience in Morocco. If any Moroccans or anyone more familiar with Moroccan culture than I am reads this blog, I hope they do not take offense. If I have made any observations or claims in error, please, please correct me.

Three weeks ago, on the first day of yoga class (about halfway through class), loud dance music begin playing in the room next door. We completed our yoga practice listening to intermittent, booming night club music. It seemed to become especially loud during savasana, of course. After class, the instructor apologized and said, "The student activities office assured me that this would be a quiet place for yoga class."

I had to smile. My instructor had just found herself in the gap between "says" and "is."

The gap between "says" and "is" (a term dubbed by one of T's colleagues) has been– by far – the most difficult aspect of Moroccan culture for me to adapt to. Generally, in American culture, when we ask someone a question, we expect an answer that corresponds as strictly as possible with reality. In Moroccan culture (and I base this claim on what I have observed, what I have been told, and what I have read), you aren't nearly as likely to get an answer that corresponds with what most Americans would call "the truth." You are more likely to get the answer that the person thinks you want to hear, the answer that he or she thinks would make you happy, or the answer that he or she wishes were true.

I was warned about the gap before I came here. But I think my American upbringing kept me from completely understanding how wide, and how strange to me as an outsider, it really would be.

I'll give you some small examples of my experience with the gap between "says" and "is." When T and I were learning about the University, we read about a multi-kilometer forest path going around the University. T's dean even mentioned to him during our first week here what a pleasant walk it is. When I went looking for the path, I found that it did not exist. I thought I saw signs that it had once been present, but the path was completely overgrown. I quickly (meaning within about five minutes) had to give up. When we asked a few people about the path, they said that it has not been maintained for quite a while. It is essentially nonexistent.

Here's another example. There are a shuttle for faculty and a bus for students that drive back and forth between the University and strategic parts of the town. The grounds and maintenance office continues to claim that faculty (or other people) who wish to use the student bus must buy tickets. I have spoken with many people who have worked here for a few years, and none of them have ever bought tickets. Nevertheless, if you visit the University's website, you will see that it says tickets must be purchased for use of the bus.

What I realized, then, is that when people say "There's a nice forest path going around campus," what they really mean is "We used to have a nice forest path, and wouldn't it be nice if we still did?" When they say "You need to purchase tickets to use the bus," what they really mean is "We wish we could figure out a way to charge money for use of the bus."

The examples I have provided are just two rather small (and somewhat lame) examples. I experience this gap on a daily basis, so much so that I have gotten into the habit of assuming any answers I get to my questions to be inaccurate unless I get the same answer from a minimum of three different people.

I don't mean to suggest in any way that Moroccans are liars. I'm not an anthropologist, and I'm certainly not an expert on Moroccan culture, but I think this tendency to tell people what they want to hear comes from an essentially good place, from a place of generosity. When an American might be likely to "tell it like it is," it seems as if a Moroccan is going to be more likely to "tell you like it should be." Doesn't that take more imagination? Isn't it really more generous than the cold, hard truth?

Perhaps so. But I have a feeling that this aspect of Moroccan culture has been responsible for driving away more than one non-Arab foreign faculty member. I hope to adjust well enough that it doesn't drive me away.