On socializing and making friends

One of the stressors of moving to a new place is, of course, not having friends in that place and needing to make new friends, something that has always been difficult for me. When I meet a potential friend, it takes me a long time to put the label of "friend" on that person. I don't usually have very many friends at a time. For most of my life, I had only one or two close friends at a time.

I have also always had a tendency to be drawn to the "outcasts" or to those who don't entirely fit in (sorry, my dear friends). I have met a lot of interesting people this way. When I was in high school, I got to know exchange students from Czech Republic, Japan, and Germany, while many of my classmates didn't bother to take the time to get to know those people. in Morocco, though, who are the outcasts? Who are the people who don't fit it? The other expatriates, of course. T and I are starting to hang out with some great people – most of them Americans. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, but we are finding it a bit difficult to get to know Moroccans, and we both agree that part of having an enriching experience in another culture involves getting to know members of that culture.

So what's standing in the way of my making Moroccan friends? Well, as I mentioned above, there is my tendency to be drawn to the misfits. There is my introversion (yes, I am an introvert). But there are also some interesting Moroccan cultural factors. T and I have noticed a great deal of separation between Moroccan and expatriate faculty members at the University. We talked to an American faculty member who has been here for 10 years about this. He didn't seem to think that establishing friendships with Moroccans was going to be very likely for us. The reasons seem complicated, but I think they are partly related to the strong emphasis put on family in Moroccan culture; a lot of Moroccans are busy spending time with their families, and I think they assume everyone else is doing the same. Religion also plays a role. Islam is a religion that pervades every aspect of the lives of its devout followers. Whether I'm comfortable with it or not, I understand that religious differences create some divisions between people here. And actually, if I think about it, I realize that things aren't any different in the U.S. People tend to spend time with those who share their beliefs. Think about your own political affiliations, for example; if you are a Republican, are most of your friends also Republicans? If you are a Democrat, how many Republican friends do you have?

One of the main things we do with our new potential friends is go out to eat, even though our choices are fairly limited here in Ifrane. This tagine with French fries on top, which T was surprised to discover he had ordered, is one of the tasty offerings in the Ifrane restaurants. (I've been waiting for weeks to have an opportunity to post this picture.)

For now, I'm not going to worry too much about the nationality of my friends. I'm going to remain open to the  possibility of making Moroccan friends. But I'm also going to be patient.