Another downside

The white screen of death

I'm pretty sure my MP3 player died today--just a few minutes ago, actually. It's really not a big deal. I had some playlists on it, but they weren't that impressive, and everything else is also saved on my computer and backed up on an external hard drive. It was just a Sansa Fuze. Not a big deal.

No, not a big deal...but a bigger deal than it would have been, say, 14 months ago, when I was still getting a paycheck in dollars (or any paycheck at all). Fourteen months ago, I would have just gone online and ordered myself a new one. I think it would cost me, maybe, $60.

But now $60 is a lot more to me than it was then. I've been thinking about this a lot lately since T and I have been seriously talking about returning to the States for a month. I'm having to seriously face the fact that wages which allow us to live a pretty comfortable (if not extravagant) life here would put us on food stamps there. We're doing great as long as we don't need anything that comes from an American or European economy. But as I have been pondering what I'll do while I'm back "home," I have inevitably and consistently come up against the wall of economics. The things I want to buy, the things I want to do, will all cost dollars, which I'm not earning anymore.

I know this makes me sound awfully materialistic. It may also sound like I'm throwing a pity party for myself, but I'm not at all. I'm just working right now on a mental shift, which is always difficult. I will be in the States (incha'allah, as we say here), but I won't be part of the U.S. economy (which is pretty much true for a lot of people living there, come to think of it). I will have to prioritize the things I want to spend money on (tofu or haircut? vitamins or clothes?) and will have to "make my own fun," as the saying goes.

And, if I can't get it working, I'll have to learn to live without my MP3 player.